So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize