That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize