Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
