I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize