I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
