I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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