looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so let's talk penis.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize