I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
