my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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