is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Come see our sink grown plant.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
