I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
