Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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