They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
