It's like God shit irony all over that family
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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