I got chris browned last night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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