I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
