He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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