Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it glows. i had to have it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
