p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize