if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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