so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
