don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize