she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
