yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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