Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
