I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
