I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
