I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
