He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize