idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
