he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
