Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
