Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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