I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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