I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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