So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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