wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
