is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
