Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
