their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
