Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
