oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize