Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
