Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
