this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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