Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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