I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
