Swine flu is the new snow day.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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