Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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