I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
