I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
