i think my mom watched the whole time
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
