Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
