Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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