Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
