mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
