I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
