i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
