..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
