i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
