I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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