My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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