I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
