alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
