69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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