its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
