Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
