It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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