Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
