my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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